Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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