Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
