worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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