What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
