between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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