i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He better not be in your backpack
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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