Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
