Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
