I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
