How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
