I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Shame - the story of my life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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