What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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