Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
