Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
