Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
