Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
