RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
