i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
