I'm laying in your front yard are you home
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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