just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
