They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
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