found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
