I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this will be a night to untag.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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