piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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