Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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