She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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