My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Houston, we have a squirter
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
