he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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