So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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