as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
