Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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