I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she told me i tasted like america
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
