Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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