Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So vagazzling was a success
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