margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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