so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
