By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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