Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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