JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
God, I missed his penis.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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