I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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