So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
