would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
