Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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