That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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