You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
