please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
