hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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