I wish I could teleport
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
