I could have mohawked her pubes.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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