I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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