There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We need to get me chipped asap
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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