Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
