I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
