I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
