Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize