found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
