GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
