No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize