Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize