white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
