Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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