I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
